Provocative Humor

Bob E Sherman

A Person of Interest


 

 

Donald Chump

Many people think Trump is a chump. Donald is ahead with delegates because the other candidates don’t have anything new. I listened to Donald’s foreign policy and I was impressed. The USA should be first. The USA has more troops around the world than any other country. China could be a better friend if we stop melding in their policies. China makes many products for us. We can’t blame China; it’s the greedy US companies.

Our forefathers came to America for religious freedom among other reasons. Our immigrant policy is an utter disaster. Millions of Mexicans came here for jobs. Our do-nothing Congress won’t deal with the illegal immigrants. Obama wants to bring refugees from Syria. Trump has his reasons to not Muslims emigrant.  There are 50 countries with majority of Muslims and 1.6 billion Muslims; so they are not coming for religious freedom. We should not let anyone emigrant until we deal with the illegal immigrants that are here.

Trump said our country should be first. We should decide who comes to USA. Our allies are comfort that we can protect them. Trump was right when he said our allies need to protect themselves.  I ‘m a political Independent and I usually vote for Democrats. However, I want to hear Hillary’s foreign policy.

Trump made a speech in California recently. The protesters were waving a Mexican flag.  ICE should have been there and round up the illegals.


Bob E Sherman for President

I am proud to announce my Independent candidacy for President of the United States for 2016. Only Independents will vote for the best idea no matter who proposes it.

My goal as President will be to simplify all phases of government. We will go back to the Constitution and focus on providing for a common defense, insuring domestic tranquility and promoting the general welfare.

Although the phrase “under God” was only added to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954; our country was founded by those who came here for religious freedom. Therefore the wording “under God” will stay for tradition if for no other reason. Religious freedom means you may worship or not worship any way you want. It does not mean you have the right to try to convince anyone by whatever means that he must agree with you. Our founding fathers factored in a separation of church and state because they realized, as I do, that religion causes most of the world’s problems.

There are many people who think God should never mention in connection with the State or Federal government. I suggest those people to send me all your coins and bills that have “In God We Trust” written on the money.

Common defense, as written in the Constitution, meant the defense of the United States not all other countries of the world. I think Democracy is great. But, I learned one thing from the Crusades: we can’t shove it down everyone’s throat.

Illegal immigrants will have one inalienable right: the right to leave. I will propose a moratorium on all visas, other than travel visas, for an indefinite period or until such time as Congress develops a comprehensive plan to allow for reasonable quotas for legal immigration taking into consideration all ethnic groups and the employment needs of industry. The wet foot dry foot policy in Florida will be discontinued.

Donald Trump claims illegal immigrates cost us $200 billion a year. He could be off by 50 to 100 billion. We don’t want immigrants illegal or legal whom came here for a hand out. It won’t be easy to deport millions of immigrants. However, it is easy to shut off the welfare payments.

Our country was founded by immigrants who came here for religious and other freedoms. Let us not forget that people were living here when the first settlers arrived and we ignored their rights. We will not make the same mistake again. We welcome all legal residents to these United States. However, no individual or group whose stated philosophy is to change our language, way of life or force their religion or values on us, will not be allowed to enter this country. This country used to be a “melting pot.” It’s not melting anymore. If new immigrants come here and insist on maintaining their language and customs and live together; in a few years we will be just like Iraq: each state will be a different ethnic group that hates each other.

We have freedom of speech in this country. However, if you have deserted your homeland because you couldn’t take the heat; don’t bother protesting here if you don’t like what’s happening at home. We don’t care and we are not going to do anything about it. The only flag I want to see waved at a rally is the American Flag.

If I’m elected, border patrol agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean will be given a full Presidential Pardon.

Children born here will no longer become citizens automatically. To become a citizen, their parents must be citizens or legal residents. Many people believe a human with all rights starts at conceive. This is another reason to stop anchor babies. Amnesty for those now living here illegally will not be given. All payments and benefits to illegals will be discontinued.

Driver’s licenses will only be issued to legal residents. Anyone caught driving a vehicle without a license will be prosecuted under a new Federal law State law which will allow for the confiscation of the vehicle.  This law will also apply to DUI drivers and others that operate vehicles without a valid license or insurance.

English will the official language of this country. I will propose that no Federal monies be spent on translating or printing anything in another language. Federal programs will be available to teach legal immigrants to speak and read the English language. Recognizing that speaking several languages is a sign of higher intelligence, “relevant” foreign languages will be taught in public schools, beginning in preschool. Push “1” for English will be eliminated.

Foreign Aid will be eliminated or significantly curtailed until such time as poverty is eliminated within the United States, with particular attention to Native Americans. All foreign aid will be in the form of food, raw materials, or manufactured goods from US companies. Just giving cash increases our National debt and increases the personal wealth of the dictator we send it to.

Social Security will be strengthened by focusing on the reason it was created i.e. to provide for retirement. It will no longer be a form of welfare. All working Americans will be required to participate. This includes all Federal and State employees. Benefits should be for retirement, and should be based on the amount paid in. Why should someone who paid in 40 quarters get the same as I do after paying in for 120 quarters? Benefits should be for only those citizens who paid into Social Security and definitely not for illegal aliens.

I will propose a National Health Insurance program that provides all Americans access to medical care. It will not be free. Private health insurance companies don’t lose money. There is no reason why the Federal Government should. We already have a “Public Option” it’s called Medicare. All citizens and legal residents may enroll in Medicare. The premium will be substantially more than when you are collecting Social Security. The premiums will be less than private insurance and likewise the benefits. The higher premiums paid for private insurance will, in addition to paying the CEOs more money they can spend in a lifetime, give you extra benefits.

Many liberals insist that we must provide medical care to illegals for humane reasons. Should Congress allow this; I will propose a withholding tax of 30% on all monies wired out of the USA from the 7- Eleven or Check Cashing Stores.

No one will be forced to buy health insurance. However, if you choose not to purchase or participate in an affordable insurance program, you will not be admitted to any hospital or urgent care facility without your American Express Card. So, don’t leave home without it.

I am Pro Choice. However, abortion should be the last choice and be a rare occurrence. There are millions of Americans that are waiting to adopt children. Many travel to foreign countries to adopt. I will propose a National Network to match prospective parents with children and babies available for adoption. Except in cases of rape, abortion will be considered elective surgery in all public health insurance plans.

If you are against abortion for religious reason, don’t have one. Babies should not have babies. Nobody should force a ten year-old to have a baby. If fanatics can’t mind their own business they will have to take charge of the pregnant ten year-old and provide for all medical care and schooling for the mother and baby thru college.

Barack Obama promised to close Guantanamo, but it’s still open. The dilemma facing the Washington bureaucrats is what to do with the prisoners. Plans are already underway to turn the property into an all-inclusive resort. So that’s not an issue. Anticipated packages will include all the La Tropical beer and Cuba Libres you can drink, plus one Cohiba cigar after dinner.

I should remind the ACLU and other misdirected human rights groups of certain facts:

While there may not be DNA and eye witnesses to tie all of them to a specific crime; it is undisputed that if released they would gladly kill the first infidel they came upon.

The Geneva Convention is irrelevant if signed unilaterally.

Col. Hogan did not have access to legal counsel, nor did John McCain.

I presume that the only reason we take prisoners of war, rather than killing them,  is due to the Geneva Convention; as we hope our prisoners will be treated the same. This is wishful thinking. The only US soldiers captured during the War on Terror were beheaded and their bodies dragged through the streets.

I do agree that torture should not be used. However, taking pictures of naked prisoners is not torture. And there are exceptions to every rule. When Jack Bauer has someone in his custody that, he is certain, knows where the nuclear device is located, he’s justified in using whatever means necessary to get the information. This will ultimately save millions of lives.

My favorite quote from the movie Swordfish is: “You have the power to cure all the world's diseases but the price for this is that you must kill a single innocent child, could you kill that child Stanley?” This is the type of tough question that I’ll be able to answer when I get that 3 a.m. call.

So what do we do with the Guantanamo prisoners? The solution must involve the fewest number of attorneys as possible. As this is why this mess has dragged on so long in the first place. My first choice, a fire of unknown origin at Guantanamo, was ruled out by my advisers as not practical. Therefore I propose to return all prisoners to the country where they were captured or born. If they are recaptured again during the commission of a terrorist act against US interests they would be shot on sight. In the words of my great, great granddaddy W.T. Sherman: “War is hell.”

Taxes: Generally raising taxes in a bad economy is not a good idea. However, we do have $18 trillion debt. We can’t reduce the debt by lowering taxes. If you increase taxes for some and give it back in the form of welfare; you haven’t accomplished anything. We may be a consumer economy. However, spending beyond our means got us into this mess. The States are greedy; they want sales tax on online purchasing even though there is no cost for Amazon and others. I propose a nominal sales tax of 1% for online purchases to apply to the Federal debt.

Taxing social security benefits is not fair unless the income threshold is so high that the recipients would not even miss their check, were it stopped. I am now receiving Social Security benefits. However, because of the unacknowledged inflation and the decline in the stock market I work part time to supplement my income. So in addition to being taxed on my benefits I must continue to pay FICA taxes, which are no benefit to me.

Free trade is a two way street. Expecting China to import our products, especially Harley Davidsons, is not protectionism.

Water: on any given day there is a flood somewhere and a drought somewhere else. We need a system to redistribute water to where it is needed. 71% of the earth’s surface is covered by oceans, and if Al Gore is correct it’s going higher. Not having clean drinking water anywhere in the world in unacceptable. One solution for the rising water levels is to drink it. We have the technology to turn sea water into fresh water. If we put our minds to it we can make it economically feasible to produce fresh water on a large scale. We could even sell it. There may be alternative to oil as a fuel, but there is no alternative to water. Providing clean water is more important than exploring Mars.

Energy: Until ours cars run on something other than gasoline we need to drill for oil. Even though we can’t drill our way out of the energy problem; it’s no reason not to drill. Start in Alaska. Their former governor was all for it. We also have plenty of oil shale. Let’s develop it. It might cost a little more, but eliminating our dependence on Middle East oil is priceless. Developing a car that is powered by the energizer Bunny is a long way off. However, there is no reason to use any oil to generate electricity. We have natural gas, wind, coal, hydro power, and nuclear power.

Ethanol and bio diesel make no sense when there are people starving in the world. Insufficient research was done when ethanol was introduced and many marine engines were damaged. Ethanol and bio diesel cost just as much and reduce the mileage. So where is the savings? We need more fuel efficient cars. Regarding the marine industry, most boats are lucky to get one mpg. If we increase it to two, the cost of boating falls, and our carbon footprint is reduced by 50%.

Bailing out the auto industry: The US auto manufacturers have no one to blame but themselves. Giving them any money was a bad idea on a long term basis. I don’t care whether I get the Union vote in 2016. The unions are part of the problem. Without concessions there won’t be an UAW.  I won’t forget Harley Davidson. They are the only US manufacturer currently making a vehicle that gets 50 mpg.

Foreign Policy: Many sovereign nations have leaders that are considered dangerous or downright crazy. However, they are still sovereign nations and we can’t tell everyone what to do, how to treat their residents or run their governments. This is why many countries hate us. We can’t negotiate with crazy foreign presidents or ministers. I won’t waste time and money for sanctions on foreign countries to make them responsible. Fifty years of sanctions didn’t work on Cuba.

In the interest of full disclosure I wish to point out that I will not attend church or a synagogue, have a dog, or hold hands with a Saudi King. I also wish to point out that I was born in Jersey, and no one would lie about that. The other candidates will post pictures holding their “cute” little dogs. I’m sure they will get some votes. However, the intelligent citizens know that billions are spent on pets while many children go to school hungry.

God bless America and nowhere else.


Sherman Act of 2014

 

In 2012 I wrote a blog on immigration titled ¿Path to Citizenship? One of the few comments I received didn’t understand the upside down question mark. For the incognocenti, questions in Spanish have a question mark at the beginning and end of a question. Furthermore most of the illegal immigrants speak Spanish.

Thanks to our “do nothing Congress” not much has been done to solve the illegal immigration problem. President Obama now will make some headway by executive order. The GOP is against Obama’s plan; not because they have a better plan. Last year Obama issued an executive order to celebrate motherhood and apple pie. The GOP was against that and also pardoning a turkey. They wanted a full Congressional hearing before deciding the fate of the turkey.

The GOP has no real immigration plan other than to deport all illegals. As far as I know there is no plan to find all the illegals or how we can deport millions of people. It’s not practical to deport 20 million illegal aliens.

Since the Congress has no clue I will offer my suggestions. The illegal aliens will have 3 to 6 months to apply for visas.

  1. To move to the next step they must pass a criminal check in the USA and their country of origin.
  2. Visas will be issued after paying a significant fine and fees. The cost to taxpayers for this immigration plan should be zero. If the illegal aliens can go to the 7-11 on Friday and wire money home, they can well pay for the administrative cost of a visa.
  3. Children of illegal aliens born in the USA will no longer be automatic citizens.
  4. The penalty for illegal immigration is no path to citizenship.
  5. Illegal aliens must pay their own way. They will not be eligible for any Federal or State welfare benefits. The GOP should be onboard for this as they don’t like welfare benefits for our citizens.
  6. The “wet foot dry foot” policy will be discontinued. All aliens should be on equal footing. (No pun intended)
  7. Politically asylum will be discontinued. We have enough trouble taking care of our own citizens. No one appointed the USA as the world police and caretaker.
  8. The US Visa Lottery will be discontinued. Terrorists will have to find another way to come to the USA.
  9. Let's get to work

 

 

 


National Do Not Call Registry

If you’re looking for an example of the Federal Government wasting money, creating unnecessary laws and bureaucracies, you need not look further than the Nation Do Not Call Registry. I have registered my home and cell phones and the calls keep coming.

Initially I filed online complaints for the calls I received. Obviously the FTC, the agency in charge, does nothing. I called the FTC to complain, but there was no live person to talk to. Weeks later I received a return call. I didn’t bother to return the call because I was too busy answering unsolicited sales calls.

Over the past few weeks I received several calls from 813-305-7904. I was dumb enough to answer a few of the calls. Most of the time no one was on the line and they never left a message. I googled the number and found pages of comments by people whom had received calls from this number also. I decided to call the number back and it turned out to be an auto insurance agency that have never heard of the Do Not Call registry or just ignored it, knowing  the FTC does nothing.

I thought I would call the FTC and make a complaint, not about the insurance agency, but about the FTC. However, I got my agencies mixed up and called the FCC.  I’m sure I’m not the only one mixed up with the FCC an FTC. The Do Not Call Registry is mentioned on the FCC website. When you click to make a complaint, you end up on the FTC website. I got into an automated system and after being on hold for ten minutes I hung up. Just as well as I would have felt pretty stupid. I was already pissed off because I had to punch “1” for English.  I assume Coca Cola is responsible for this annoying procedure.

I may have to resort to my childhood practice of blowing a whistle into the phone. Maybe the FTC won’t do anything. But, a few blown ear drums should send a message. I use a more passive response for all the unsolicited mail I receive. I stuff the postage paid envelope with all the crap they send. This costs them money and also helps the USPS.

Whether you like this blog or don’t, don’t call me.   


Diversity

The Coca-Cola Super Bowl commercial reminded me of all the articles I’ve written about English, which should be the official language of the USA. An article in my book More Bull, “America’s Greatest Threat” is right on target on this issue.

I made reference to a Youtube video, The Second American Revolution; starring Thomas Paine who I thought was dead. The video is still available and you should watch it. If you agree with Thomas Paine, you are not a racist or a xenophobe; it’s just common sense as Mr. Paine explains.

Mr. Paine makes a point about diversity; it doesn’t unify a country. Our government goes to great lengths to make the immigrants feel like home – teaching classes in school in their native language, printing documents in many languages, including election ballots (my favorite).

It’s not xenophobia that keeps the immigrants from assimilating into our culture. It’s their desire to live together. That’s why we have Russian, Cuban and Korean neighborhoods, to name a few. This divides a country. Now that our troops have left Iraq, the Sunni and Shi’a can get back to their national pastime of killing each other. VP Biden had the right idea i.e. Iraq should have been divided into three countries.

A few years ago I took a trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico and I was stupefied. Most of the Mexicans at the hotel spoke English. I had a hard time practicing my Spanish. I know the politicians in Washington will find this hard to believe, but foreigners can learn English. Another amazing thing was that the bathrooms only had the universal sign. There were no words in any language, and amazingly everyone found the right room. I did walk into the men’s room once and found a young lady in there. She said to me “adelante.” At first I thought it meant you show me yours and I’ll show you mine. Unfortunately she was the cleaning person telling me to come in. After which, she politely waited outside.

Speaking more than one language is a sign of higher intelligence and a great attribute. Tennis’ Ion Tiriac once said, “I can say I’m innocent in every language.”  The American attitude of old was that everyone should speak English, even when they travelled abroad. This doesn’t work anymore. One fifth of the world’s population speaks Chinese. However, I’ll bet that there are very few grade schools teaching Chinese. Sure it’s great to be able to speak several languages. However, that’s so you can travel the world not your own country.

Why do you think all the little countries in the former Soviet Union want to break away from Russia? Or why are the tribes in Sudan killing each other? The only people in the world that think diversity is good are the politicians in Washington, or maybe a few people in NYC looking for a good Armenian restaurant.

I have no idea what Coke’s motive was for the Super Bowl commercial. When I lived in Brazil, I attended a soccer (futebol) game. When they played the Brazilian Nation Anthem, I sang in English. As no one understood what I was saying they assumed I was making fun of their anthem and I was thrown out of the stadium.

God bless America and no where else.